Complicated Feelings
It involves things that not suppose to be in....
This semester break is awesome but
yet something did ruin all my mood
and complicated my feelings.
I don't know who really I can lay my words on,
my tears on, my worry on, my insomnia on, and most important
my fragile love on.
But I think the decision of not laying is on my hand,
I choose to be silent of all the worry, pain and suffer.
I wish not to make them feel like what I felt.
Many people cared for me and they were there when I need their love
but why at the same time, I don't dare to tell them all?
Am I really grown up to keep it all to myself until
one day, one day when I collapse or can't breath anymore
only I will walks towards you.
I thought things have ended,
but when I try to sleep, the reality just slap me.
Woke me up from my dream.
I thought the feelings had gone far ago,
but why the words of those comes to my ear,
a rod pierce through my heart and bleed.
The pain is beyond my control,
do I really use the wrong way to forget you?
Or I should blame myself for even fall for you
in the first place..
Hope when I go back to there,
the image of you and shadow of you will fade away.
Still I am glad that, for a now..
I do not need to pretend in front of those I not honest with.
I can rest peacefully...
I believe I can do it just like how I succeed doing it previously...